Grateful Friday

1. Getting to see "V For Vendetta" tomorrow night.
2. Jill Carroll being released.
3. The vanilla Latte my friend Lorissa brought me this week.
4. Seeing my friend Lorissa this week.
5. Breakfast at Ihop with my family yesterday.
6. Getting to hang out with my niece Noelle this week, bye Noelle have a good trip back, we'll all miss you.
7. Homemade Strawberry smoothies.
8. Our camera.
9. Heidi going to Ikea with me yesterday and helping me with the kids.
10. My kids loving books.

Naked

Every morning and night, when we change the kids out of their clothes we have "naked time". We let the kids run around for awhile naked. They are the most happy and excited and energetic when they are running around naked. Jack asks to be "naked boy" at least a couple times a day and Stella asks to be "baby", but we limit it to only 2 times a day, due to the fact that it's a wrestling match to get them back into their clothes. We love chasing them and pinching their little squishy bottoms. Yesterday morning during naked time, Stella disappeared, I found her curled up on this red bean bag. She was all snuggled in and kept moving around, tucking herself more and more into the bean bag. I love "naked time" so much because it reminds me of the first time I saw them, their little body in my arms . I want to capture that moment and keep it forever in my heart.

Secret Hide Out

This is Jack and Stella's "secret hide out". Heidi gave us this shredded orange curtain, we hung it up in a corner threw a bunch of pillows on the ground and the kids love it. Every night we go into the secret hide out and read stories to the kids. Jack's favorite story right now is called "No David". It's about a little boy who gets in lots of trouble. Whenever we get to the page where his mom tells him to stop picking his nose Jack immediately starts picking HIS nose. During the day when Jack goes into the secret hide out we pretend he's invisible. I'll start calling for him, asking where he is. Then he pulls back the curtain and jumps out. He loves it.

Self Portrait Tuesday: "Time" #4

Sunday Morning Moments

More Self Portrait Tuesday bloggers here.

I'm watching my niece Noelle today. We are going to the Folsom zoo, which I haven't been to since I was a kid. We had an interesting weekend, it seems like John and I were bickering for most of it. We would get in a little fight and then completely make up, and then before we knew it we were going at it again. It was strange though because they were all over tiny little things and each time we would end it it was like it never happened. It's weird because ususally if we fight it will be one big fight and I'll have a hard time getting over it, so I'll just be in a huff for most of the day. Anyway one of our fights was in IKEA. I swear I do not learn my lesson about bringing Jack and Stella shopping with us, it always ends the same way, us rushing out of the store, upset at each other and the kids, and IKEA is a hard store to rush out of since it's so big. Anyway, I'm hoping today and the rest of the week is excellent. Happy Monday everyone!!

Grateful Friday

1. Jack and Stella making laugh EVERY day.
2. Getting to hang with mom and Heidi today.
3. Always being so encouraged by my fellow bloggers comments.
4. Green tea and "Dharma and Gregg" during naptime.
5. Anticipating watching "V for Vendetta" soon.
6. Marylin teaching me so much in sewing class last night.
7. Vanilla soy latte's and caramel Macciatos.
8. Looking forward to a shopping spree at IKEA.
9. "Drive" by Gwen Stefani. The kids go crazy for that song.
10. Me loving being a mom more and more and feeling generally less stressed on a daily basis.
11. Talking about going back to Big Sur this summer.
12. Pizza Friday and my friend Chandra coming over for dinner.

How can I teach her to love herself? To feel beautiful, to love all her little quirks, the curve of her hips, and the shape of her smile? Is there a magic age where she will start to doubt? Stare in the mirror and start to pick herself apart? What age is it? I want to know so I can stand beside her and tell her she is the most beautiful of God's creations. That she is amazing and strong and brings a beautiful light with her wherever she goes. That true beauty isn't what we are told it is by society, but it's unique and it comes from the inside. I want to hold her hand and look in her eyes the moment she starts to doubt, stop that first thought of self hatred, tell her not to go that way. I'm scared. All I know is I can tell her she is amazing everyday, to give her lots of kisses and beyond that I don't have the answers. It almost seems impossible, I hope it's not and I'm going to do everything in my power to raise this little precious girl to love herself.

Self Portrait Tuesday: "Time" #3

The First Hour

Wish

Yesterday at church the guy who was doing announcements congratulated this couple on buying their first home. In an instant a dark cloud came over my heart and all I could think about was how stupid they were for announcing that in church. I was not happy for them, all I could feel was this bitterness sitting on my chest. I was in a funk for the rest of the service and really could not pay attention. I know that I was not being very much like Jesus sitting there in church sending my evil thoughts to the innocent couple a few rows back. I just wish so much that we were in a position to buy a house. How is it possible that it seems like everyone is buying a home. The prices here are outrageous, are we missing some secret to home buying, does everyone have a rich uncle who's co-signing, can everyone afford a 1500 mortgage payment?. In reality, I'm not all bitter and mad about this all the time, most of the time I really feel happy to be living where we are and not in great need of having "more", but once in awhile something triggers me and I feel like keeping up with the Joneses. My wish is to be content, and happy without having to have the "bigger" and "better" things. To know that we are still being blessed by God even if he isn't allowing us to buy a home at this time in our life.

Grateful Friday

I'm really not feeling all that grateful today. I am annoyed and want a break. It's been a long week and I just want to walk away for awhile and do nothing. I'm feeling guilty for not making money, not that John is making me feel guilty, he isn't. I just feel that pressure to have more money, and contribute to our family by adding money to it. I really know in my head that the kids come first and that no amount of money is more important than my being home with the kids, but today I feel that what I'm doing is just not good enough.

I AM grateful though for so many things even though I may not be bursting with joy at this moment. I love my kids more than anything. They make me happy and make me feel so incredible inside, they are amazing. I love my husband even though he drives me nuts sometimes (hi john :) ). I'm happy that a couple of friends of mine are taking sewing classes with me.

I'm so grateful for a roof over our heads and food on our table, we are never in true need of anything important.

I'm grateful for my mom and her determination, one day my kids will be able to see her as a shining example of what it means to overcome,and to fulfill dreams. I'm grateful for each day I get to be with my wonderful family and always know they love me.

Fueled by a raging 2 day headache and a case of cabin fever I packed the kids into the double strolled and walked to our neighborhood Starbucks.
We only live less than a mile away from this Starbucks but in the 2 years we've lived here I've never walked over there with the kids. Mainly because I have to walk on a very busy street and manuver through Food Source's gigantic parking lot, but today, with all medication failing I new that the coffee and fresh air might bring me relief.
Of course we had to stop at Food Source first for my favorite treat in the world. I think there might be some addictive ingredient in carob because I just can not stop eating these things.
Anyway we made it to Starbucks. My headache is now completely gone, and the kids were happy to be out in the world. So today is looking up, as a bonus James Blunt was on TRL today singing "Your Beautiful", and I practically threw my back out dancing to Shakira's new song "Hips Don't Lie"...love it.

Self Portrait Tuesday: "Time" #2

Pregnant - 18 months

Labor - 58 hours

Mother - The rest of my life.

Co-op

John and I are part of a babysitting co-op. Every 5th Saturday 10 cute little kids (it used to be 12) take over our house for 4 hours. There is lots of screaming and laughing and sometimes crying (that would be me). We do a craft and have a snack and around 8 we put a movie in. Movie time is when we bring out all the pillows and blankets and the kids are expected to lay quietly and watch the movie. This Saturday a miracle happened and they actually all feel asleep. I think that is the first time in over a year that that has happened for us. The chaos is so worth it though. Every other Saturday night John and I have 4 hours to do whatever we want alone. We cherish the time to just talk and be together, to have fun as a couple. I wish everyone could be a part of a babysitting co-op, it is a truly wonderful thing

Grateful Friday

- This rainbow from 3 days ago that Jack is still talking about.
- That Kath from Red Current picked me too and is sending Stella a skirt, I am so so excited!! Thanks Kath.
- Watching our Netflix movie "Wimbeldon" and "Thumbsucker" tonight.
- Heidi helping me shop today at the thrift store.
- Starting my sewing class next week ($20 of 10 weeks of classes and each class is 3 hrs long, can you believe that? and the teacher is from our local college, what a bargain. I'm so excited.
- James Taylor's song "Shed a little light" I love love love it, it gives me goosebumps every time.
- Domino magazine
- Me finally making a plan in my head to a) read my bible b) do yoga c) to cardio. I'm going to work these 3 things into my day somehow before John comes home, I know it's possible, and I'm going to figure it out by Monday and do it.
- America's Next Top Model started.

Fruit and Books

We got out of the house yesterday, with all the rain John has been taking the car, but yesterday was nice and pretty so he rode his scooter and I got the car. Being homebound the last couple weeks with sickness and weather, the kids have gotten to play with some of their favorite things. They love these little wood fruits. The pieces of each fruit are held together with a little piece of velcro, then you take the knife and cut through the velcro to "cut" the pieces up. They love feeding the piece to me. These fruits came packaged in a little apron with a pocket in the front, it's one of my favorite toys the kids have.

Yesterday we headed to the library. The overall experience was a nightmare, Stella screaming, me chasing both of them around in the stacks of books trying to catch them, me crying on the way home wondering when I will ever be able to bring my kids into social situations alone and not nearly have a nervous breakdown. The good part was that I was able to grab some really colorful fun books for them before the chaos broke out. Here's what we got:
1. Why to Kittens Purr? by Marian Dane Bauer.
2. Maisy's Rainbow Dream By Lucy Cousins. The colors are so bright in this book. It's all about Maisy mouse's crazy dream.
3. Happy Easter by Kurt Wiese. I love this book because of the illustrations and the cute little story about rabbits coloring Easter eggs only to have the chicks hatch and come out the colors they have colored the eggs. The same illustrator who did "The Story about Ping" did this book, it was one of my favorite books as a kid
4. Mr. Seahorse by Eric Carle Love the colors and all the pretty fish Mr. Seahorse meets
5. From the Garden by Micheal Dahl I love all the green colors, it's a counting book, and it teaches what some of the different vegetables are.

Self Portrait Tuesday: "Time" #1

My life yesterday

8am Breakfast

10am Jack gets time out

12pm make beds
1pm it's raining out
3pm gummy worm with Jack
5pm sewing the kids curtains
9pm TV with John

More SPT's here

Grateful Friday

Thought's I've had this week
- How can I make time for exercise without running out the door as soon as John walks in.
- I want to make a craft corner somewhere, but where?
- Why is my skin so bad looking?
- I think I'm being more patient with the kids
- What is carob anyway?
- If we don't send the kids to pre-school will they be ready?
- What's wrong with my hair?
- I wish I were as nice as John.
- I hope I am kind like my mom when I'm her age
- I can't wait to go to IKEA

Things I'm Grateful for this week
- Health
- the color pink
- Reruns of Dharma and Greg
- Carob covered malt balls
- Cherry 7-up
- John bringing home the new Vogue with a love note hidden in side
- Mom helping while we were sick
- The Amazing Race started
- It's pizza night
- IT'S FRIDAY, YAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!

Pork Buns

One of the many things I love about my husband is his love of other cultures and their food. The first thing he wanted to eat when we got to China Town a couple weeks ago was pork buns. He came out of the little shop with a bag of sweet bean buns and pork buns and we all munched down. He has a strange love and devotion to Kim Chee (Pickled cabbage) a Korean food. The last time we ate Mexican he ordered a huge bowl of Menudo (which had cow intestines in it I believe). He loves all curries and has chowed down on the weekly goat our African neighbors bbq (they bring a whole dead goat home, chop the head off and burn off all the hair, I can not describe the smell). He loves the people too, I remember saying a few times after we were married that John was a really a Chinese man stuck inside a white man's body. I thought he would eat Chinese food everyday if he could. I guess his side of our wedding party shows it too, His brother (white), Sam(Fijian), Noble(Chinese), and Charles(African American). So anyway this is one of the many things I love about John. He just loves people and he has genuine curiosity and respect for everyone. I love that he will influence our kids to do the same.