four sweetpeas
-->
How can I teach her to love herself? To feel beautiful, to love all her little quirks, the curve of her hips, and the shape of her smile? Is there a magic age where she will start to doubt? Stare in the mirror and start to pick herself apart? What age is it? I want to know so I can stand beside her and tell her she is the most beautiful of God's creations. That she is amazing and strong and brings a beautiful light with her wherever she goes. That true beauty isn't what we are told it is by society, but it's unique and it comes from the inside. I want to hold her hand and look in her eyes the moment she starts to doubt, stop that first thought of self hatred, tell her not to go that way. I'm scared. All I know is I can tell her she is amazing everyday, to give her lots of kisses and beyond that I don't have the answers. It almost seems impossible, I hope it's not and I'm going to do everything in my power to raise this little precious girl to love herself.
posted by Heather at 9:24 PM
18 Comments:
awwwww...that is so sweet...here i am, with all my depression, crying...this is totally sweet. Stella is so adorable!!!
fantastic picture!
that smile!
and i know exactly what you mean.
my daughter is now ten
and i fear is getting closer
and closer to that age
when self doubt starts to creep in.
and i think it is especially
harder on the moms
because
we not only remember what
it felt like then
but also may still have issues
now...
ack.
i think what we need to do is keep talking to them, keep on showering them with positive, powerful information
it's challenging, i am 7 years in with my girl - i want to shield her from images everywhere - but that isn't realistic,lately alot of our conversations start with "is that real?" it's interesting to hear what they think
she's a lucky girl to have you
Thank you for such a nice post. Your blog is at the top of my everyday reading.
Congratulations
Nat
I know what you mean....I hear you girlfriend, I hear you. I get so worried about this. In fact I was just thinking this morning (and wondering whether to blog it) about the fear I feel now that I'm a mama.
Everyday I think you tell your girl how incredible she is, how much you love her and you keep on saying it. I try to remind Ava that she is pretty NOT because of her clothes or her appearance but because of what's inside of her. She almost rolls her eyes when I ask her what makes her pretty but she knows (kindness and gentleness towards others) and that EVERYONE is pretty.
I've also made it a point to never throw myself under the bus when she's around or within earshot and so far, I've done a good job.
What a beutiful and lovely is your daughter, Heather!
Love your lovely, beautiful and amorous words!
Yeah, that's a tough one. I think just allowing them to discover and develop their talents allows them to grow in self-confidence and not focus so much on the outside.
She's beautiful!
Have you read Reviving Ophelia?
I've thought about this same thing even though I don't have any children yet....how do you protect them from these kinds of things?
I worry about this with my son. Maybe not so much on the physical part, because the societal need isn't so great on boys, but the inner strength and confidence.
I worry about middle school and he hasn't even started preschool yet.
i was thinking this EXACT thing yesterday as my daughter and i stared into each other's eyes for the longest time. she turns one tomorrow
Wow, what an amazing picture. You should get that one framed. Love the words of love and feelings.
One question I can answer, another I cannot. Our daughter is experiencing those feelings this year, 5th grade (age 10-11), for the first time. What to do about it, we don't exactly know.
We talk about anything and everything with her, and we talk a lot. I tell her that she is not alone in thinking the thoughts she has. I tell her that I have had them too. We tell her we love her, we tell her we are proud of her, and we tell her she is beautiful.
It is so tough, though. I cried when talking about it with her because I so very much do not want her to.
Sharing that post with her when her time comes could do the trick: honest penetrating thoughts of love from her mom. I think I might share it with mine.
beautiful image & words. very inspiring.
i think these same things every day about my little girl-
n.
Gorgeous pic!
Our daughters tend to display less self doubt when we mommy's show self love ourselves. The outside world will always be cruel which means their inside world -- in their hearts, in their minds, in their mommys -- needs to stay strong. If we tell them to love themselves, we need to believe it ourselves. If this is too difficult because of years of telling ourselves differently, then we need to fake it best we can for them.
Provocative and honest post Heather.
Oh, my. You have expressed this terrifying concern of every mother of a daughter perfectly. Beautiful. Sad. And so loving.
Beautiful post, Heather.
Post a Comment
<< Home