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Monday, March 20, 2006

Wish

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Yesterday at church the guy who was doing announcements congratulated this couple on buying their first home. In an instant a dark cloud came over my heart and all I could think about was how stupid they were for announcing that in church. I was not happy for them, all I could feel was this bitterness sitting on my chest. I was in a funk for the rest of the service and really could not pay attention. I know that I was not being very much like Jesus sitting there in church sending my evil thoughts to the innocent couple a few rows back. I just wish so much that we were in a position to buy a house. How is it possible that it seems like everyone is buying a home. The prices here are outrageous, are we missing some secret to home buying, does everyone have a rich uncle who's co-signing, can everyone afford a 1500 mortgage payment?. In reality, I'm not all bitter and mad about this all the time, most of the time I really feel happy to be living where we are and not in great need of having "more", but once in awhile something triggers me and I feel like keeping up with the Joneses. My wish is to be content, and happy without having to have the "bigger" and "better" things. To know that we are still being blessed by God even if he isn't allowing us to buy a home at this time in our life.

8 Comments:

Blogger tammie said...

we had to move away from california to even contemplate getting that wish of a house - and we are still renting!
so frustrating, i know...

awesome picture!

9:50 AM  
Blogger gkgirl said...

oh my goodness...
i nearly gave myself whiplash
i was nodding so hard as i read that!
we wanted soooo badly to buy a home
and it was so frustrating...

it was actually the
reason why i started my blog
in the first place...
i needed a place to vent
and complaing and sulk
and be bitter about it
without worrying that i was
alienating all of my friends
and family...heehee...

it will come.
i know it.
(and when you do do it,
go through a mortgage broker)
:)

10:18 AM  
Blogger GJ said...

I've heard tale of the prices of homes out there and I don't know how anyone does it!!!!

12:31 PM  
Blogger OnlyGirl said...

Hang in there, I can totally relate, I remember well the (very recent) days with both of us working, 2 kids and living in a one bedroom apartment! I thought I was going to scream every time we visited other people's beautiful homes. Don't be afraid to pray for what you want...things can happen way beyond your expectations! Besides, less to clean in an apartment. ;)

2:35 PM  
Blogger Melzie said...

You'll get it someday.. but 1500 on a payment- OUCH!! Ours is 800- and I nearly died with that. My payment back home before I married was 450 (not a dump- LOVED the house, and got lucky, LOL). You vent away-- that's what this is for. And as for being like Jesus-- He knows your pain about this-- it will happen.... I have my own wish- to have babies... and it makes me insanely jealous when people announce their pregnancies at church, work, or anywhere... And my blog, I vent, LOL!

7:14 PM  
Blogger sara said...

I'm there with you, on that wish...I'm so sick and tired of renting, it makes me want to cry! I was so jealous when my younger brother and his wife bought a house, I felt sick to my stomach. I can totally relate. We all have moments of envy, and wishing we could have something we want, badly.

10:30 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am exactly where you are now.

11:56 PM  
Blogger Heidi R. said...

it will happen someday!! ..just make sure u can afford a spare bedroom for me too...ha ha!! :)

4:32 PM  

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