Jack pretending to be a unicorn, he's about to charge.

Bring Your Pet to Blog Day

Hello Sunshine

Backup

One of my favorite movies is "About A Boy". I sat in the dark living room nursing Stella early this morning, turned on the TV. And YEA!! To my delight this wonderful movie was on. My favorite part is when Marcus stands alone on the stage in front of all his classmates and says "this song is for my mother" and then quietly starts singing "Killing my Softly". The kids start booing and Marcus hesitates but keeps going. He stops at one point and is about to leave the stage when you hear a guitar from somewhere unseen start strumming the music to the song Marcus is singing, then we see Hugh Grant's character Will walk onstage playing the guitar and as Marcus starts singing again, Will starts singing along with him. Anyway I sat there crying and watching the rest of the movie. One of the last scenes is all of the friends and family gathered around eating a meal together. Marcus narrates saying we all need more than just one person in our life, we need "backup". I thought about that and it's so true for me. Sometimes all I think I really need is John and the kids and no one else, but I'm truly happy with friends and other family around, I need them, I need there support and backup. I have a fuller life with them all in it.

Self Portrait Tuesday

I love my shoulders.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DARREN

Here's my brother Darren cleaning up after one of his famous BBQ's. Happy Birthday Darren .

For years now, there are certain things that I say I want to do but never end up actually doing them. To use my mom as an example (hi mom, love you), ever since I can remember she has said that she is going to clean off her kitchen table. Now I don't really care if her kitchen table is a mess or not, it doesn't bother me, but it bothers her. Almost weekly she will say, "today I'm cleaning off the kitchen table, it's a mess", and she rarely gets around to doing it, and when she does do it, it morphs back to it's usual cluttered self a week or so later. I do this to, I have a list of things I have in my mind to change or improve and just can't seem to make it happen. Here's some that come to mind

1. Improve my posture (I'm a sloucher)
2. Exercise regularly
3. Stop complaining so much
4. Floss daily
5. Get rock hard abs
6. Start doing yoga every day, go to a class once a week.
7. Eat healthier
8. Don't leave my clothes on the dresser or ground
9. Take better care of my skin
10. Organize my pictures
11. Throw out things I don't use
12. Learn to knit
13. Read my bible everyday
14. Ride my bike more

These are all things that I am having trouble doing. Why is it so hard for me to just do them. Most of them I've done for a short period of time and then stopped. It bugs me that I won't make myself do some of these things. They are so easy to do. Maybe I'll just pick one and start working on it again. On the bright side, none of these are life threatening if I don't master them, life will go on if I'm still a sloucher in 20 years.

One of Jack's favorite things to do is to let balloon's go. Anytime he gets a balloon the first thing he wants to do is go outside and let it "Fly sky" he will say "bye bye balloon" until we let him go out and let it go.
The moment before he let's it go he get's really excited and practices a few times, rasing his arm up quickly but not letting the balloon go yet.
Finally he will let the balloon go and he leans his head back and watches it go for as far as it's in view.
He'll say "bye bye balloon". It's fun to watch him get so excited, I start feeling excited to just waiting for the moment he lets it go and we can watch it fly away.

Party Time

HAPPY BIRTHDAY STELLA

Happy birthday little Stella. I can't believe that you are one years old. You are the most amazing little girl. I have never seen a more perfect little angel. You still seem like such a baby to me. Last night I was laying in bed crying, could you really be one already? Where did the time go. Before I went to sleep I prayed that God would wake me up at 3:46am so I could go in and say happy birthday to you. I woke up at 3:33am, I woke John up and we snuck into your room and stood over your crib and wispered happy birthday to you. I love your soft hair. I love the little space between your front two teeth. I love how you close your eyes sometimes when strangers say hi to you. I love how you crinkle your nose and smile when you get really excited. I love how you suck on your toes. I love how you eat with both hands. I love how you hold your arms out to your daddy when you see him and cry when he leaves. I love everything about you. You are amazing. You are a miracle.

Bring your pet to blog day

First Day of Fall

Doesn't it look cold in this picture. It was really cool. This is in Tahoe and the wind was blowing violently. We were all bundled up.
I love the fall. When I was younger I lived for the summer and hated the winter. The year I got married I distinctly remember, for the first time, getting excited about the winter. Maybe because I had someone to snuggle up with, I'm not sure, but before that I hated winter.

Reasons I love fall

- The tree's changing color and dropping all their leaves on the ground.
- Christmas lights. I love them. Downtown around the corner from where we used to live all the neighbors put small white lights up on all their shrubs, We would go out of our way to drive down the street, and I would sing "chrisssstmassss townnn, chrissstmasss townn" as we drove by (yes I was 30 at the time)
- Walking in the rain with the kids.
- Making hot soup and warm meals.
- Staying inside all day and listening to the rain.
- It getting dark at 5 o'clock.
- Watching all my favorite shows.
- Seeing more of John's family.
- Stella's first Christmas.
- Bundling up in lots of clothes.
- Getting really warm after being really cold.
- Drinking hot chocolate in a coffee shop while it's raining outside.

Self Portrait Tuesday

Here's my neck. I used to think I had a really long neck like a giraffe, and I was embarrassed about it at times when I was younger. I don't know why, my neck is really just the average length.

This is my first week alone with the kids again after 4 weeks of having John here. He went back to work yesterday. It was a pretty good day with the kids, but it was hard. Sometimes I just don't think I'm really good at being a mom. I think other mom's just naturally teach their kids the alphabet and potty train them and teach them to count, but for some reason when I try to do any of those things with Jack he literally screams "NO" and runs in the other direction. John says it's the age, and I'm sure it is. I just feel exhausted by the end of the day, and I feel like a failure because I can't just be so happy and energetic for John when he comes in the door.

Bliss

Michelle over at La vie en rose asked the question, when are times you feel blissfully alive? Taking her que I also focused on happy times. These are what came to mind immediately, there are tons more I'm sure.

- The moment I looked down and saw Jack after he was born. I was stunned at the fact that this little person had just come out of me. I was overwhelmed, amazed, and shocked all at the same time. In that moment, of about a minute, before I even held him, time and space stopped and it was just me and him. I never felt more alive than that moment.

- Skinny dipping with John in a remote part of Ca. That we had backpacked to for 2 days. We set our camp up with our friends Ron and Lorissa . Then John and I set out and climbed up a big mountain and went skinny dipping in this tiny lake. We laid out in the sun. It was beautiful and quiet. I felt connected to my husband in the adventure. I felt alive.

- When we went to the sonogram for Stella. We had decided that we were going to wait to find out what sex our baby was. When we drove up to the appointment, we parked the car and before we got out I turned to John and said, Ok are you sure you want to wait, he said yes let's wait. We went in and as I laid on the table, the technician asked "so are we finding out what were having today" I turned and looked at John and we both the "yes". I wave of excitement shot through my body, I already sensed I was having a girl, but when she confirmed it, my eyes welled up and a peace filled my body, I was so happy.

- Last Saturday laying on a massage table as a man I didn't know pulled my hair and rubbed my back and pinched my neck. John was right next to me as some stranger did the same to him. Our friends treated us to a couples massage. I swear Rick my mesues was channeling the hands of God. I felt like I was floating. Bliss.

- John formally asked me to be his girlfriend. I know it's a bit old fashioned these days, but it was romantic and sweet. For days after he asked me I literally felt like I was walking on air. I felt lighter and totally and completely happy.

- We honeymooned in Maui for 2 weeks. We felt like time stopped, some days we just stayed in bed all day. It was so beautiful. We walked on the beaches and didn't rush anywhere. We often talk about our honeymoon and can't wait to go back to Maui.

Explore

John only has 2 days left of his vacation so on Friday we went to the Exploratorium in San Francisco. It was lots of fun. My sister Heidi came with us. Stella loved getting her hair blown by the wind blower. She laughed and smiled and closed her eyes.
Here's Heidi beating a sand drum. You should have seen her before I took this picture, she was beating it wildly, jumping around, yelling and cackling, flinging her head around like a woman lost in the passionate beat of a African drum circle.
We all love when John uses his magic powers to suspend balls in the air, well really this was just a wind blower. This was one of Jack's favorite things to play with, he kept jumping up trying to get the ball. We all took turns putting our face into the wind and getting our hair blown back.
Big smoke rings shot out of this when you pressed on the ring, very entertaining.
John using his hot air for our entertainment.
Jack really loved the whole day. We all agreed that we felt a little queasy by the end of the day. I think all the magnets and electricity and swirly things sort of messed up our innards. We were in science overload. It was a super fun day though.

Bring your bad pet to blog day

Bad bad Sunshine. She has been a very bad kitty. We were gone for a week, somehow, we are not sure how, she got into the house. She could have peed in a million different places but where did she choose to pee? ON OUR BED!!!!! It got on both of our pillows, when right on through to the mattress. John is soooooo mad at the cats, for the last week I have had to bargain with him so he doesn't send them away to the kitty orphanage. My mission is to make it seem like we don't have cats at all. That means, I change the litter box and sweep the garage. They now have to stay outside or in the garage all the time. I think John will lighten up a little as time passes, but right now I have to do all I can to protect my furry little friends. They do cause a bit of trouble around the house sometimes but I just can't image not having them around, we've had them since they were baby's and they really are sweet in there own ways.

Sick

Jack is sick. He has a cold and his poor little nose is all runny and red and raw. I feel really bad for him. It's been a really long day. We had our carpet cleaned today so we had to be out of the house all day. It was hard because Jack wasn't feeling good. We went and saw Madagascar and he fell asleep on John's shoulder. We spent a lot of the time hanging out at the mall with Gretchen, then we went over to my mom's house and had dinner. My heart feels heavy tonight. I wish I had the ability to:

1. Find the perfect loving mate for my sister.
2. Have a ton of money to help my sis out.
3. Make my sons cold go away right now.
4. Make my mom breeze through school.
5. Not be insecure about my friendships.
6. Help all the children in the world who are hurting.
7. Help my brother start his own bbq buisness.
8. Be happy about the way I look.
9. Have the house clean and dinner on the table every night.

Self Portrait Tuesday

I'm posting 2 self portrait pictures today. My hand in the sand at Lake Tahoe
and me and my beautiful Stella.

Welcome to Tahoe

We are back from spending 5 wonderful days at Lake Tahoe. The weather was so perfect. I am amazed every time I go to Tahoe at just how pretty it is there.
We hung out on the beaches, I waded into the water with Jack. It was really cold but after a few minutes my limbs went numb and it actually felt warm.
We were there in the middle of the week so the beaches were pretty empty. There were lots of geese which Jack loved chasing around.
One night we went out to these rocks, I wanted to try and get some pictures of the sunset behind the mountains but we were a little late. It was so pretty though, I felt like I was in another world.
As always Stella had a ball. She loved the beach. Jack was a handful on the trip, but he had so much fun at the beach and hiking. He kept saying "Stella's hiker...daddy's hiker...Mom's hiker...Jack hiker" Even when we were driving in the car he would say it.

Off to Tahoe

Here are some pictures of our little ones. We are off to Tahoe until Saturday. I'm so grateful to get to spend all this time with John and the kids. I feel for all the families that are separated from each other right now for whatever reason. Have a wonderful week, enjoy life.

Self Portrait Tuesday

MY FEET

My feet have rough heels and calluses.

They have walked along lost on the hot streets of Mexico.

They have walked in the warm sand in Maui.

They have dangled in the cool water of the Pagsanjan river in Manila.

They have hiked to the top of Half Dome in Yosemite.

They have ran in the Bay to Breakers in San Fransisco.

They have carried the weight of two babies.

They have held me up as I pushed those two babies out.

They have held me up as I kissed my grandmothers dying lips.

They have walked down the marriage isle.

They have been pampered.

They have been ignored.

They have been faithful.

Thanks feet.

Back from Big Sur

We had so much fun on our trip. It was the best of both worlds, forest and beach. Our cabin was in the redwoods about 10 feet away from the river. We could not have asked for a better place to stay.
This was Jack's first time really playing on a beach. He really loved running from the water and playing in the sand. At one point he put his ear down to the sand to listen to it it was really cute. He loved running to our blanket and kicking sand onto it.
We went and hiked to a couple of water falls. The prettiest was Phiffer Falls, it's the first picture. The water fell right onto the beach. The rocks and ocean were so amazing, I could not stop taking pictures, but it was really hard to capture just how breathtaking it was.
Here is our little cabin. We stayed at Ripplewood cabins. It was quiet and peaceful. It was a little challenging to get the kids to go to sleep but we each took one and after about an hour of singing and back rubbing and holding they fell asleep. One night, John and I snuck out and built a camp fire outside the cabin and talked and drank beer and roasted marshmallows.
Sweet Stella. She had a ball. She is the perfect traveler. She loved everything we did. She jumped up and down in the stroller squealing with delight as we hiked through the redwoods, and happily rolled around in the sand at the beach.

Thinking of New Orleans

Heidi and Mom eating Beignets

My sister lived in New Orleans for about 10 years. I have many fond memories of my visits there. Here are a few

1. Eating beignets at the Cafe Du Monde with my mom and sister.

2. Stepping off the air plane for the first time in New Orleans and being floored by the humidity.

3. Going on a "Swamp Tour" and watching the guide feed marshmallows to the alligators.

4. Going to the Maple leaf and dancing to the Rebirth Brass Band I had so much fun

when I got back home I went out and bought thier cd.

5. Driving around the beautiful old cemeteries looking for Mel Torme's grave site.

6. Driving around and finding Anne Rice's house.

7. Going to a dueling piano bar with Heidi and mom and John. I went to one here in

Sacramento and it just wasn't the same.

8. Going into the voodoo shops and looking around at all the spooky trinkets.

9. Going to Jazz Fest, dancing to Melissa Ethridge and the Counting Crows.

10. Driving around and looking at all the old houses, they were all so beautiful.

11. Watching Lisa Loeb perform at the House of Blues and getting her autograph.

12. Eating po boys, and soft shell crab sandwiches.

13. Walking around the French Quarter and taking in all the sites.

14. Surprising my husband and booking us a night at the famous Cornstalk Hotel .

15. Eating at the Commanders Palace and having out table served all at the exact same time.

Well wishes and prayers to the New Orleans people. There is no city like it.