Grateful Friday

It's 2:39 am right now and I can't sleep. I've entered the stage of pregnancy where for me, everynight is a long drawn out toss around in bed ordeal. So I either lay there frustrated or get up, wrap myself in a blanket, and watch TV or read or surf the internet. I only have about 4 weeks left, time is flying by and I don't quite feel ready for the baby yet. Luckily I have 4 weeks left to get ready. We have everything we need, so I'm not sure why I don't feel ready. John has his 4th interview with this job in Walnut Creek next Wednesday. We are pretty sure they will offer it this time. It's a great thing yet many challenges go along with accepting this job. It will mean he will have to commute the last month of my pregnancy and then for a month after, until we find a place to live. I have thoughts of him getting the job, him being there, me at home in labor with the kids, him rushing home (it's about 2 hours away) and not making it. I wonder if everything will fall into place, babysitting?(should we just bring them?), will I deliver fast?, how will I get to the birthing center?(drive myself in labor?) All of these questions are making me feel not ready. I want to trust God, just breath and let the plan unfold, but it's hard. Meanwhile, people are telling me the baby looks low, that I've "dropped". I'm having more and more contractions throughout each day, and the days are going by quickly. One thing I know is that this baby will come when it's ready, I'm eager to meet the little one, to hold a tiny hand, and smell the little neck. To watch Jack and Stella as they look at this amazing little baby. Today I'm grateful for all the questions, we are on the edge of a new life in many ways, and though it may be scary, it is exciting.