Cracked

Last night I cracked. I sat on the living room floor with my face buried in my hands and cried. John sitting beside me, the kids running around, and me sitting on the floor weeping. I broke because I didn't feel close to John, because I want something more from my friendships, and because our govornor won't pardon people about to be killed. I cried because I'm terrified for Jill Carroll, because Jack won't stop screaming in the house, and because he has a runny nose again. John listened to me and comforted me and I felt better, but this morning I still feel cracked, I'm waiting for the soothing green moss to come fill in the tiny spaces still left.