Self Portrait Tuesday

I don't know why but for about a week now I've been having this inner battle between being content with what I have and with having this deep craving for more. I'm not talking about my family or things that really matter, more like material stuff. A couple of our friends are moving into bigger homes, I think that may be what started this craving for more. It's like a gnawing in my belly. I can feel it when I watch Extreme House Makover on Sunday nights. I'm fine until the very end when they show off the house they built, then I start to feel it in the pit on my stomach. I hate it. I know we won't be moving anytime soon, and really we have more than we need. A few years ago we went to Manila and saw what poverty really is. It's a different poverty than I've ever seen in America (though I know it's here in some places). I left truly grateful for what I had, even now sometimes out of the blue, I'll be washing the dishes and just become really grateful for running water. Overall though lately I haven't been doing that much. I'm going to try to get back to that gratitude. I know I love my family and God and my friends. I know that I don't want to live beyond our means. I know I don't want to feel jealous when I see others get stuff I think I want. Really all that matters is my family. If all were lost and all I had was them, that would be more than enough.